5 tips for keeping your marriage alive

Spoiler alert: My husband and I celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary yesterday. It wasn't a magical day- because that's not our style, but it was a nice day. He bought me flowers, and I made him a coupon book. Cute stuff, you know :) Well, all in all, we have been together for almost 12 years, and in that time, I can actually say that I have been in love with my husband for the majority, if not all, of the time. AND I think we have a pretty good marriage overall. So in that light, today I wanted to share with you my five tips for keeping your marriage alive.

1. Communication

In a marriage, communication is the number one thing that is important. No, it's not the money, the sex, the kids... it's communication and being on the same page. If you are not agreeing on something, it's good to take a step back and look at both sides. I am saying this, because it has happened to me... Even though my husband and I have been together for so long, we don't always agree on everything. Sure it would be a picture perfect marriage if we did, but the fact is we don't. BUT we do communicate our thoughts and feelings on different things AND try to get on the same page. Especially when it comes to parenting our son.

2. Compliment each other often

I can tell you that compliments go a long way in a marriage. Ok, I am not talking about the "Honey, I'm fat..." "No baby, you're beautiful!" type of compliments; I am talking about the genuine "You look pretty in that shirt" type. AND it goes both ways. Compliments just make you feel good about yourself and that makes you happier.

3. Be each other's biggest supporter

My husband has supported me though everything since we have been together. Through the years of schooling, the many jobs, the pregnancy that resulted in our son, the blog start up, the being my photographer, and many other things. I have done the same for him. BUT that's the thing, you want your spouse to support you in everything that you do. No, they don't have to like it (do you think my husband likes being my personal photographer? Yeah, no), but they need to put feelings aside and support you. This does not apply to something outrageous like drug addiction, braking the law, or spending all the money- please don't make your spouse an accomplice. Just don't.

4. Talk about things other than the kids

I can't count how many times our conversations have turned to our child when we are out, but when we're at home, all we do is talk. We talk about our jobs and hobbies, things that we want, things that would be awesome to do, etc. Sure, we talk about the kid, but we do try to stay up to date in each other's lives. AND that's the point. Make sure to talk about more than the kids. Talk about what each of you love and want to do. Talk about dreams for the future. Whatever. Just don't ALWAYS talk about the kids.

5. Have an interest in what the other person likes

My husband and I have different hobbies- me with the blogging and makeup collecting and him with the tools- and sometimes we just don't like what the other person likes. For example, I love the color gold... my husband not so much. He loves his tools... me, well, I'm not a tool gal. BUT we both try to take an interest in what the other person likes. He will be my blog photographer when he is called upon, and I go into the tool store with him; and listen to him talk about different tools, even though I have no idea what he is actually talking about :)

Overall, what I'm trying to get at is that marriage is a hard thing and sometimes you have to work at it to keep it going. You don't have to SPICE things up every now and then, or go on a weekend getaway (sure those things are nice) to get to know your spouse. All you have to do is listen to them talk once in a while.