the decision to move on

I've always hated the saying, "the grass is not always greener on the other side." In a world full of YOLO and FOMO, it seems to give the wrong idea- like don't try new things. But unfortunately, even though I hate the saying, sometimes it's right. 

When I first applied and was hired into my position as a Tutor in Juvenile Detention in March 2015, I was so excited. The majority of my undergrad career was spent studying juvenile recidivism (a person's relapse into criminal behavior), and I was going to be witnessing the concept first hand. It was like an internship, but I was getting paid and didn't have to write a term paper on it. I knew the position was part-time (30 hours a week max), but I believed that it was going to give me a starting point into county government. I believed in the position so much, that I decided to quit my previous job as a supervised visitation visit supervisor. A job that I had loved for two years, but the reason I couldn't stay was because they couldn't give me the hours that I wanted.

In November of 2015, due to a want to have a full-time career, I started to apply for various county government positions. By working in Juvenile Detention, I hoped that maybe the position could open some doors for me. Unfortunately I was wrong. I applied to almost 30 positions, including one in Juvenile Detention, but only had one interview. To put it in the most simple terms: I was discouraged. 

After attending kindergarten roundup for Lil Man in April of this year, I brought up the idea of being a stay-at-home mom again to my husband. He said that I could do what I wanted, and he would support me. I looked at our finances to see if we could make it on one income again... the answer was no.  Even though I loved being a stay-at-home mom, I knew we needed some extra money coming in, and I couldn't just quit a job that was covering the car payment each month. 

Since April, I had been looking for a sign. Something that told me that I was making the right decision in wanting to stay home again, and that I would be ok. Something that told me that quitting my job was the right thing to do. I knew that if I was going to quit my job, I needed a way to supplement that income. I started to think about blogging full time and the idea of monetizing, to think about how to update my Etsy shop, started researching ways to make money online, and joined Blog Boss Babe. 

The sign I was looking for finally came in the form of a Facebook message. A few weeks ago, I told one of my old co-workers that I was missing my old job, and was thinking about quitting my current one. She told me that she was the new office manager, that technically I was still an employee, and asked if I wanted to pick up any summer hours. Three days after I received the message, I put in my two weeks at my job in Juvenile Detention. And then saw a quote on Facebook.

When I was hired as a Tutor, I thought that I could have a chance to change the lives of young kids. To help them learn, grow, and maybe change their ways. Unfortunately, I was wrong. Most of the kids, I came to see, were frequent fliers. They would be released on home detention, or even an ankle monitor, and then re-offend within a few weeks. With some kids, it took longer, with some, shorter. Sure, there were kids that I seen once or twice, and then never again, but those were the minority. The majority of the kids, just kept coming back. And they would talk about drinking, drugs (mostly marijuana), sex, getting girlfriends pregnant, and all the things in between. It hurt my heart knowing that I wasn't doing any good.

As of July 1, I will no longer be employed in Juvenile Detention, and I'm going to miss it. Sadly. The kids has a tendency to get out of hand sometimes, but I will miss my coworkers the most. But, I am excited to see what I can do. 

My main reason for leaving is my son. At kindergarten round up, I realized that he isn't even close to being ready for kindergarten. I've tried to teach him after getting off work, but 90% of the time, I come home fried and just can't deal. Since I will be home with him during the day, my goal is teach him the basics of kindergarten, and I will have 6 weeks to do it.

In my spare time- I am also going to be here, writing. I want to go places with this blog. I want to put in a huge amount of effort. Since I won't have to juggle working M-F, being a mom, being a housewife, and blogging at the same time, I don't think I am going to be as stressed.

The best advice I've ever heard. is: "find something that you love to do and if it makes you happy, then never stop doing it." So here's to making the right decision. 

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